It's been a long time since my latest blog and that is mostly due to the apathy of a disorganized mind, as well as the confusion and shock after my best friend lost her mother.
But, I felt inspired to write something. I often get asked the question if I like it here in Sweden. When I say I don't, especially if it's a Swede asking, I often get a surprised reaction. There are several reasons why I personally am not happy in Sweden, but as with everything else there are advantages and disadvantages to living here.
Advantages to Sweden:
1. Clean air
At least that is true here in the North of Sweden. Lots of open spaces. The access to free cross-country skiing tracks in the winter.
2. Calmness and quiet
That depends on where you go of course, and although I'm not a countryside person and would not want to live there full time, it's nice to be able to go to my parent's summer cottage whenever I want to. It's also nice to have access to cross-country skiing tracks in the winter.
3. My roots, my family
My family is here, small as though it is getting. This is where I grew up and my roots will always be here in this small town.
Disadvantages to Sweden:
1. The prevalent outburst of wide-spread cynicism that has apparently gripped this country
This is perhaps the most difficult part to living in Sweden. If you look up a Swedish newspaper online and read an article, make sure to read the reader comments. They're often horribly jaded and cynical and downright rude. For example, there was this one article about a girl who was almost raped but was saved by her dog. There was a picture of her along with the story. She was overweight. One of the comments was "Man the torpedoes!" This was not the only crude comment. Swedes are very cynical. They are also arrogant. You will never encounter snootiness like in Sweden. I lived in Stockholm for 4 months. Yikes! There is nothing so snooty as an upper-crust Swedish woman living in the posher areas of Stockholm. Even the stewardesses at SAS will beat any Beverly Hills socialite on the snoot scale. The Beverly Hills socialites may be snooty but in their case it's more due to mental instability than anything else. There is just something about that perky, smug arrogance that the Swedes have in spades, it really takes the cake.
2. Conformity
You need to be doing what everyone is doing. You should talk the same, have the same pastime activities, dress the same etc. Which means you should use the same popular phrases such as "Fredagsmys" (roughly translated it means Friday evening coziness. You should downhill ski. You should go out for coffee on Sundays. You should dress in the latest fashion, tie your scarf the right way and wear the correct shoes. You should buy a jeep because that's the latest trend. You should go to the hip restaurant because that's what everyone else does. The list of all the "shoulds" could go on and on, but why waste the energy. Lets just say that conformity is very important in Sweden.
3. Lack of service
When you go to restaurants in North America, the customer is the boss. When you go to restaurants in Sweden, you should count yourself lucky that you're even being seated at all. Here, staff is often flippant and rude, as if one should feel grateful for being allowed to even frequent their establishment. If you ask for a doggy bag, you will get an amused, and slightly annoyed, smile
4. Lack of law and order
I'm a liberal, and don't believe in capital punishment and "big brother knows best". However, there has to be some form of governance. If you commit a horrible crime, such as rape, a couple of years in jail or an institution just doesn't suffice. As an example, a few years ago there was a man who administered his infant daughter with poison, only enough to make her suffer but no kill her. He then stood over her crib and videotaped her agony. He did this repeatedly until he was caught. His verdict, 4 years in jail. Is this sufficient? I think not.
5. Everything is so friggin expensive!
A lousy McDonald's meal will run you 10 bucks. I rest my case.
6. Progress is so slow
Before any change is made, there has to be debates and discussions on the subject for a few years, and then when something is actually happening it takes so long for the development to be completed you almost forgot what it was about in the first place. And apart from that, people are so resistant to change. There has been a suggestion to place more wind power mills in the mountains, but of course the locals have a problem with it. Wind power mills would destroy the natural view of the mountains. The horror! The fact that it's environmentally friendly is irrelevant, we're talking about a view here!
7. The drinking culture
It's a Saturday night and you're out at a local club, and you're not hammered. What's wrong with this picture!? Why aren't you hammered beyond belief? You can't possibly be having a good time! Prior to going out on the town, you all need to gather at someone's place for a "pre-party". A pre-party is just a fancier word for getting stinking drunk. The only reason that there is a pre-party at all is because drinks are too expensive in clubs. Instead people gather at someone's home in the wee hours of the night, booze in tow, and drink themselves into a blubbering stupor, before finally staggering downtown to stand in a line to get into a club where they will spend an hour before the club closes for the evening. Why even bother going out at all? The drinking culture here is: don't drink during the weekdays but make up for it by drinking all the more during the weekend. If you drink on a Tuesday, you're a lush, but if you drink until you pass out or puke on a Saturday you're really having an awesome time. Healthy eh!
8. People stare!
They really do! Not really in a place like Stockholm but in smaller towns, especially up north, they really gawk. Even if you're in your car and you pass a pedestrian on the street, that person will shamelessly peer straight into your car and try to locate your face. It's damned annoying.
9. Swedes are boring and think they're superior
I once threw a party consisting of varied nationalities. Everyone appeared to be having a good time, joking and talking. There were 2 Swedish girls among the guests. Who do you think were the only ones sitting off to the side looking sulky and stuck-up? That's right, the Swedes. A friend of mine had these 2 Swedes staying with her at the time and she was desperate and distraught because the girls just didn't appear to have any fun. No matter where she took them and what they did, they always appear bored and in a bad mood. That's because Swedes are boring and blasé. There are exceptions of course, as there are to most things, but in general, Swedes are very withdrawn and uptight and unable to be spontaneous. When I first arrived in Canada, I was the same for the first few weeks, thinking that being Swedish was someting exotic, something that would impress. However, I soon realized that that superiod attitude wasn't going to impress anyone. Swedes may think they know everything and come from one of the most developed countries in the world, but a lot of people out there don't even know where the hell Sweden is, and are not going to be impressed by you just because you're Swedish.
To be continued
