In soap opera land, single is a dirty word

It's the same tired storyline on The Bold & the Beautiful over and over again. I watched it for years, when I had the opportunity, since it's in such an impossible time slot in Vancouver - 12:30am. Now that I live in Sweden I have the opportunity to watch that drivel if I want to since it's on in the evening here. Do I want to? No thank you! Even when I have nothing to do I still don't tune into B&B.
I find that I don't have much patience with T.V shows these days. The only show that I can bare to watch consistently is Desperate Housewives. I watch the sitcoms whenever they're on when I happen to have nothing else to do, but I never actually turn on my T.V just to watch them, unless it happens to be MASH re-runs.
If a show pisses me off, I'll immediately stop watching. I watched one single episode of CSI and I was disgusted with its graphic violence. I've never watched it gain and I don't intend to if I can help it. I don't care if it's supposed to be all realistic and clever, I don't want to see it. What happened to the good, old under-stated cop/detective shows such as Cagney & Lacey and Magnus P.I, who relied more on dialogue and character development and plot than graphic violence? The one upshot about CSI is that red-headed character played by Marg Helgenberger. I don't know what her character name is but I really like her tough, no-nonsense character. I love to see a strong female character.
B&B finally got to me with their monotonous storyline of Brooke, Ridge, Stephanie and Taylor. It's been 20 years. Time to let it go. It's not interesting anymore. How many times you can see women calling other women whore and slut before you finally get enough. It's insulting to hear those words being thrown back and forth. I personally don't really enjoy cat fights. It's just tedious and irritating. It would be nice to see strong women who won't crumble into a pit of despair whenever they find themselves without a relationship for 5 minutes. It would also be nice to see women be supportive of each other in soaps. And when will men be called sluts? The character Ridge has been married about a hundred times and slept with God knows how many women on the show, he's never once been called a whore or a slut.
American soap operas turn women's lib back 50 years. Look at the picture above of the tired trio. The man is promiment in the foreground, larger than life, like a King out of some fairytale kingdom, while the two women who constantly battle over him are lurking behind him.

Calling all males out there

It's not as daring as it may seem. It's just that I've been reflecting over something today. Christmas is approaching and apart from a few people, nobody has expressed any happiness over this fact, or even reflected on it.
For me, my November and December are pretty much filled with anticipation, although for the life of me I don't know why since I don't actually enjoy the actual Christmas anymore, only the cozy feeling I get when I get to put up the Christmas decorations and enjoy candelit evenings on the couch with my favourite Christmas movies.
Christmas Eve in our little household consists of 4 adults and one dog. The peace and quiet is nice on one hand, however I do miss the large family gatherings that used to occur when my grandparents were still alive. Now the family has scattered and each household celebrates on their own. I better get hop to it and have some kids of my own so it's not so quiet and empty on Christmas. I can't imagine any better way to spend Christmas than to make it magical for my children.

Anyway, that's beside the point. The topic today is whether or not any men out there like Christmas. So far, I can't recall ever hearing one single man say:
"I'm so excited about Christmas almost being here!"

The reason for that is probably that most men don't gush like that. However I haven't so much as a:
"I like Christmas"

Is it that men don't care whether it's Christmas or not or is it that they simply don't express it?

I don't know if any men read my blog or if any of them will read this post but if you do, can you tell me if you like Christmas?

Reclusive me

I've been preaching about independence to a close friend lately, and how good it is to be self-reliant and not be so dependent on other people. I've explained how much better I've become at letting go of relationships that aren't healthy or aren't giving me anything. The other day she commented on my being cold, whereas she's more passionate. I realized that I must have expressed myself wrong.
I haven't become cold, rather I think I've matured enough to rely more on myself for company. I think this happens to a lot of people with time. Rather than depend upon those around me for happiness, I've managed to find it within myself. Well, happiness is too strong a word, since that's something I've yet to achieve. Contentment is a more appropriate description.
The other week while I was on the Skytrain I peeked at the book this girl sitting in front of me was reading. It was clearly a self-help book. I didn't catch the title but on the page she was reading it said in bold letters: "If you rely on other people for happiness you are giving them power over your passion". I may have gotten the exact words wrong, but that was the general message.
This sums up what I have been trying to convey to my friend. It's not that I've become emotionally cold, it's that I don't need to constantly surround myself with people in order to feel good. In fact, I'm almost too much of a recluse, and that's not always a good thing. In part, this recent change is due to a newly discovered independence, but part of the mixture is also a dose of apathy. I have felt rather lethargic the last couple of years and it feels more comfortable to just withdraw into my apartment and not have any plans with anyone. Plans means having to get up off the sofa or the bed and put on presentable clothes and makeup, and lately that's become more and more of a chore. It's not healthy. I know I'm probably depressed, but I honestly don't know how to fix it.
Anyway, that's a different issue. The issue at hand here is self-reliance. Regardless of whether or not my recent independence is due to a depression or apathy, the point is that part of is because I've matured. Believe me, I'm as stunned as anyone else who knows me must be. Maturity was never my strong suit. It still isn't. However, I have become more confident in myself and more capable of keeping myself company. I enjoy doing things by myself, such as going shopping, going to see a movie, going to the gym, the museum, what have you. I love that I'm calm and able to think, and not have to feel like I have to entertain or make conversation. It makes me more able to really take in and reflect on what I see and do. Also, it makes me feel so much freer than I did before when being alone made me anxious. I have always been a loner but before it was more because I didn't have a choice, because I didn't have many friends and didn't know how to make any new ones.
Now I make new friends but I don't need to see them all the time and don't sit around and wait for the phone to ring like I used to. I revel in those days where I have no plans or obligations and can just enjoy the day as I choose. That's not to say that I don't need to have friends, I do. But I also need myself and my own time just as much. I have the power over myself these days, as opposed to before when I allowed other people to define my existence.