Cutting down on Facebook

I've made the decision to significantly cut down on Facebook. There are several reasons behind this decision. First of all, recently I have found myself missing the days before Facebook entered my world, when we still emailed each other or even better, wrote each other real letters that you received in your real mailbox and not in an inbox on your computer. If I truly think about it I realize that I was happier without FB. The reason for this is that it killed the mystery for me. On FB I have re-connected with old classmates, old friends from college, old friends that I used to be rather close to but am not anymore, and people I barely know. In the beginning FB was a fun thing. It was fun to receive wall posts and messages and the whole thing had a lot of novelty value. And the poking thing was a rather fun thing to do. Then after a while it started to become routine to go into FB every morning despite the fact that the number of wall posts started to decrease along with the pokes, and messages were a very rare occurrence. After a while it started to bother me that the only thing hiding behind those alluring red flags that indicate that you have received something were from silly applications. Then some people started changing their status 50 times a day, announcing when and what they were eating, when they went to bed, when they got up, when they went shopping for kitchen supplies, when they had a beer in front of the TV, when they were watching TV and eating candy with their kids, and it was basically the same status', day after day after day after day. It began to grate on my nerves. Granted, this is perhaps the purpose of the status updates, to keep your contacts informed of your daily routines and events, but for me, it's not necessary. I don't want to give the impression that I'm dissing those who use FB for this very purpose, if they like it they should keep it up, all the power to 'em! I'm sure it's appreciated by a lot of people.

Then of course there is the fact that FB, with all its crappy applications, poorly made quizzes and mind-numbing games, takes up a lot of valuable time that would be better spent doing something more productive.

However that's a smaller reason in comparison to the real motive behind my choice to quit FB.
The main reason is that it killed my illusions. I have never had a very rich social life, and the reason for that may be obvious considering what I wrote above. I have never really learned how to be a good friend and how to open up to people and let them in, apart from with a precious few. I am lucky enough to have a few friends in which I can confide and with whom I am still close after many years. It is because of these friends that I haven't deactivated my FB account. Prior to FB, I managed to delude myself that the reason I wasn't close to people that I knew back in college or old roommates was simply because of distance and a lack of time. I had ignored the fact that we never exchanged emails anymore, it didn't even register in my mind, since I myself am tardy when it comes to emailing, and how can you expect to keep in touch with people if neither party is willing to make any effort. Then came FB and my friends list began to fill up with these old friends and I thought that it would be a great way to keep in touch and stay close, and at first it seemed to be. We'd comment on each others photo albums and post quick notes on each others walls. Instead of an email, we'd exchange a poke. Then after the initial welcome greeting and possible message catch-up, and perhaps some quick wall posts, we slowly started to drift away from each other, but this time there were no excuses for it. The truth was staring me square in the face: I'm not a very popular person! Not that I didn't already know this, but here it was confirmed, no excuses. Not that this is heartbreaking since popularity is something I stopped desiring a long time ago. By why revisit the past? FB is just another clique that I don't belong to. It's just another way to feel excluded. Another way to feel invisible. Another way not to be heard.
FB killed the magic for me. I would have preferred to keep that shroud of nostalgia and sentimentality that surrounded these old friends. I would have preferred to remember them the way they were back then and maintain the illusion that the reason we aren't close anymore is because of distance. However, things like FB puts an end to that, and one is left with no excuses. Most importantly though, I would have liked to have kept thinking of them as friends. Now our status, and I'm not referring to FB status this time, has changed to FB friends who rarely interact with each other. They've become just another name on a list, another number on my contacts list, another number to up the count, and we all know how important that count is don't we.