Is Christmas almost here again?

It's not as though it's snuck up on me. I knew it was coming. I was looking forward to it, as I always do. But now that it's actually almost here I don't feel it, as always. I feel even less this year. I suppose that's because as usual these days we don't have any plans for Christmas. It'll be the four of us again, well five counting Kelly. It all centers around Kelly since she's the closest thing to a child we have. We watch as she opens her presents, with a little assistence. I put a big red bow around her neck on Christmas Eve, so she can look all nice and christmassy. When we eat she gets a special Christmas plate too.
It's a bit sad, how things have changed over the years. Christmas should be different from all the other days of the year. It should be a big deal. It should be boisterous, yet peaceful. Small and intimate is nice, but not all the time. Sometimes you want big, loud family events.
I know circumstances have changed for our family. It's just the four of us now, and I've accepted that because that's how it is. Life is full changes. It can't all stay the same forever. It changes for us all of us.
This time of year it feels a bit empty though.
I've been watching "National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation", because it's a December tradition for me, and also because the movie centers around a big family Christmas, crazy though those family members may be.
I'm living vicariously through movies and T.V shows this Christmas. At least that's the plan.
When you think about it, it's a bit odd that we don't celebrate this event with our friends. I did one year. The one year I spent Christmas in Vancouver, Nick and I had some friends over. It was different from what I was used to, but nice. Peaceful. Peaceful is nice.
Often, we're closer to our friends than we are to our relatives, yet when it comes to the big holidays we spend them with our relatives.
We don't anymore. Hence the small gathering.
Anyway, Christmas isn't about large gatherings is it. Christmas is going to come whether or not you have a gathering of 20, or a gathering of 1. When I was a kid, there was nothing worse in my mind than spending Christmas Eve alone. I never felt so much pity as I did for those that spent Christmas on their own. I still think it's quite sad, even though some people actually choose to be alone.
Anyway, I will try to get more into it. I plan to bake and make the place smell wonderful and look really cozy the day before Christmas Eve.