New Year's Resolutions

With every new year come old and new ambitions and enter the limelight of my mind.
As always this year, everything feels raher empty and grey, so I try to combat it by making plans. Right now I'm trying to organize a trip to the mountains at Easter with a group of family and friends. The problem is that I'm the only one who is taking any initiative and probably the only one who wants to go. The others are either oblivious or not sure if they want to go. Well, as I've learned the hard way, it's impossible trying to control other people's actions. So I just have to accept that they'll go if they want to and if they don't I'll just have to deal with it. There's something really degrading to me about nagging people anyway. I hate trying to get people to do what they don't really want to do. I used to be a real desperate nagger once, especially when I was a kid, and it's damned frustrating and most often a complete waste of time.
Control freak that I am though I can't let it go at that, but instead have to keep obsessing and dropping subtle hints until a booking has been made and the plans are definite. As it stands right now I have done all I can. I've made my intentions clear and will have to drop it and let people make up their own minds.
It's partly because I desperately need to have something to look forward to, no matter how far down the line it is. Right now it feels like the only thing that lies ahead is greyness.

That's partly why I have made some new year's resolutions, or plans, I suppose one could call them.

First of all, I need to really buckle down and finish that book. It has a long way to go and if I ever want to finish it I have to force myself to write, as hard as it is for me these days.

I also want to try horseback riding. I haven't been able to before since I have always been allergic. Now that my allergy to horses seems to have gone away I want to try riding. I love horses.

I want to try making more money and setting some money aside. I'm tired of living month to month.

I'm going to get my business license. This is a very practical, necessary matter since I don't want to lose any assignments simply because I don't have my own business.

I'm going to cut down on how much alcohol I drink. I'm prone to drowning my boredom and sadness, or anxiety. This has to stop.

I think this does it for now. These are enough things to work on.

I just have to try and look for the bright spots in my life even when everything does seem grey and monotonous. It's nobody's fault but my own. Nobody can create adventure and success in my life but me. It's not going to just appear on my doorstep by itself. The big question is, how do I do this?

What's the secret?