Odd thoughts

I get uncomfortable when I go to church. I dislike sitting so close to people. It always feel like the peeople in the pew behind me are watching the back of my skull and judging me, deeming me an unfit church-goer because I so often fidget, change positions and scratch my head. I know this is nonsense and that their attention is most likely on the priest or whoever is speaking or singing, but I can't help feeling stressed in the church pew. People are so close behind you that you can smell what they last ate, and right in front of you is some person's greasy head. Alright, so they're not always greasy heads, but it's still too close for comfort. They knock your program down from the ledge when they lean back. And they're always so serious. Everyone in church is always so stern looking. That's what makes me uncomfortable. Even though it's supposed to be a place of freedom and acceptance, I always feel like I'm being scrutinized, like I should behave in a certain way. As though I should be all serious and ceremonious. And is it just me or do people stare more in church than anywhere else. People always stare in this town, but in church it seems to be even worse. They almost twists their necks off trying to get a look at you as you walk in. That's why I always try to get a seat way off on the sidelines where there are very tiny pews, two-seaters. That way you're off to the side and not right smack in the middle of it all.
On a side note, I like to watch the people who take up the collection. They are always the most stern looking people you will ever encounter. They look really cool walking down the aisle with the collection plates after people are done donating. They always walk really fast and very purposefully, as though they're a mob gang cruising down a dark alley at night. Always dressed in dark colours too, sort of skulk around the pews, looking mysterious. They disappear into the back room with the collection plates, closing the door behind them. When we were in confirmation training when I was 14, some of the boys used to joke and say that they were taking the dough and going out to party.

I was thinking about telephone salespeople who call you up at home and try to get you to buy something. They're instructed not to take no for an answer. To keep going no matter what the customer says and not quit until they make a sale. Well isn't that kind of like another form of stealing. It's basically blackmail. They won't let you off the phone until you buy something that you probably can't afford and that you don't really need but buy anyway just to get off the phone. Of course, we always have the option of just hanging up don't we, but what about those weak souls who are too chicken to hang up and who don't know how to say no. They end up buying something even though they don't want it and perhaps can't afford it. So isn't that stealing in a way?

I hate talk shows and try to stay away from them as much as possible, but sometimes I end up watching for a few minutes. The host and the guest being interviewed always do the same thing when the commercial break comes on and we pan away from them. The last thing we see before we go to commercial is always one of them leaning closely in towards the other one and saying something very animatedly. I wonder what it is they say to each other. Do they even say anything at all or is it just acting for the cameras so that they don't sit there like two bumps on a log and stare as we pan out to the commercial?