Mayhem at Ikea

I haven't written anything in a while. That has its reasons, which will probably be the topic of a later post, if anyone cares.

Going to Ikea on a Saturday is never a good idea but it is an especially bad idea to go right after payday. This means that it will be even more crowded than it usually is.
As always, the place is laced with a slight feeling of general mass-hysteria.
It started in the restaurant, where we came to have lunch after our 2 and a half hour car ride just to get this mekka. Rows and rows of people lined up like cows on their way to the slaughter. It was as if we were all animals being fed. Pigs at a trough. Although the lines were long everything was surprisingly efficient and a mere 15-20 minutes later we had our food. Salmon and steak. My dad and I had salmon, my friend Nina had steak. It was actually not bad.

Then the actual walk through that maze of furniture began. Since I was with my father, who could possibly win a gold medal in department store sprint, if there was such a sport, there wasn't much time to look at anything. Besides, it was too crowded and too noisy for me to be able to find the peace of mind to really take anything in. If I'm in a store and it's crowded and people are all around me grabbing on to things and everybody is tripping over each other, I can't manage to buy anything. I get stressed out by the frenzy you see in some people's eyes. Shopping is bloody serious business, so you better not get in their way.
So we run a marathon through the store, and both have to use the washroom, one after the other, since we both have this inclination to do number 2 every time we're in a store. My mom says it's psychological. Apparently I inherited this particular trait from my dad, because we both have to do it every time we set foot in a department store. It's odd. Anyway, it always boggles the mind how serious people seem to take Ikea. It's like they're on a mission. It's serious business.
I suppose I must do it myself, without knowing it. Let's face it, all those things, all those lamps, carpets, pictures, bed linens, it's mesmerizing. Although I'm never willing to put myself through long lineups and insanely crowded stores, even for a bargain sale. When it comes right down to it, it's just things and I don't need it that badly. However, I love coming out of a store with a bag full of goodies. I love piling things into the shopping cart. I feel like such a moron if I walk around with an empty basket. Like a pauper who can't or isn't allowed to join the party. An outcast. Like there's a group that I'm not a part of and I shouldn't even be there.
This time my shopping bag was meager, since I only emerged from the store with a measly 4 drinking glasses and two sets of bed linens. Oh but I musn't forget the big bag of toffees. That was the first thing I added to my shopping bag.

So we drove the 2 and a half hours home. Kelly got a hot dog since we forgot to bring her dinner. And those were the adventures of the day.