Happy Birthday to me

Celebrated my birthday today. It was the same as every year. Baking during the day and some friends coming over at night. Amazing sandwich cake. Sandwich cake is one of those incredible inventions. I could live on the stuff!
Pretty small affair, which is how I like it. It's okay. Comfortable. Every year though I dream of doing something radically different, such as renting a hot air balloon and having a spa day, or even taking a trip somewhere like London or New York, or somewhere warmer like Greece. Never happens though. It's way out of my budget. This is a lean time of year for me, financially. It would be nice though. At the very least I'd like to go bowling on my birthday, but for some reason this never happens.
Is it such a big deal anyway? It's just turning one year older, which by now isn't really a reason to celebrate. Do we even stop to ponder why we celebrate? I feel about 10 years younger than I really am. I never really grew up, at least I took my time to reach the maturity level I'm at right now. When I was 20 I was still living at home and had never even had a boyfriend and thought that growing up was a fate worse than death. Starting from the age of around 15 and onwards I was afraid of adulthood. I wanted to remain a child, yet still get the respect and acknowledgment that an adult would get. I wanted to be recognized as an adult but still stay a kid. The truth was of course that I was still just a kid, regardless of what I thought.
Oh to be able to turn back time and go back 20 years. I'd do so many things differently. 20 years ago I was still a kid and still had time to buckle down and study and choose a proper high school program. Man, if I ever have a kid like me, I'm going to make them study and aim high for their future. They're not going to be allowed to just drift along like I was. The only thing I had going for me was my writing. I barely even cracked open a book during my elementary school days. I realize now that how you start out really does effect your life decades later. Had I been more ambitious and studious and more self-confident I probably would have studied while in elementary school, and gotten into an academic high school program rather than a practical one. Instead I didn't discover the joys of learning until university. Oh well, you can't change the past. Maybe whatever happens is meant to happen. I read somewhere that "everything is as it should be". Wise words.