I know I criticize Sweden and Swedes a lot. Sure, there is a lot here that I don't like, but my irritation has more to do with me than anything else. It's not Sweden I'm angry with, it's myself, for moving back here. Things were just fine when I was living in Vancouver. I had a whole other appreciation for my native country as long as I didn't have to live in it. My anger now is more about me and less about Sweden. It's not a bad place to live, in fact it's pretty great if you compare it to a lot of other places. It's just not my place. I may have been born and raised here but I never really felt like I fit in. I began picturing myself living in North America from the time I was 16. Originally I felt drawn to the U.S, but after visiting Canada, I realized that was the only place I felt I want to live in. I still do.
How odd is that, that you can grow up in one place and feel like you belong in an entirely different one. I'm not sure if I believe in karma, but if I did, I think I must have lived somewhere in North America in my previous life. It felt so natural for me to live there for some reason. When I first arrived there it felt like I was alive for the first time in my life. That melancholy was gone.
Anyway, I do have a lot of issues with Sweden. I think I have a love/hate relationship with it. Perhaps a like/hate relationship, since love is too strong a word to describe my sentiments about Sweden. I like it just fine as long as I don't have to live there. My roots are there but it feels like my future is elsewhere.
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