Weeding out the bad apples

My friend just blogged about whether or not it's okay to date more than one person at a time. I vehemently stated that it was not okay, and that if a guy does that he's a scrub, just as if a girl did that she would automatically be labeled a slut.
Then I got to thinking, after a comment following mine, that dating and being in a relationship are two different things. I always thought the term "dating" is an odd term to be using these days. Because as it was pointed out, it is actually courting, and how many people court these days? These days people meet, go out for coffee and then start hanging out and doing things like hiking, going out to dinner etc. We don't really refer to it as dates anymore though, do we? It's only a date in the very beginning, before you know the person and become a couple.
Once you become girlfriend/boyfriend you're not dating anymore. You're in a relationship. It's at this state that dating other people at the same time would be poor form.

However, as I've told my best friend many times, one should date several people. Finding Mr. Right is like wine tasting. You need to take a swig from a few different glasses before you find the one that's suitable for you. If you get into a serious relationship with the first guy you date, what do you have to compare him to? If you fall head over heels on the first date and he's the man of your dreams that's one thing, but come on...how often does that happen?

Before I had my debut with the opposite sex, I knew nothing about guys. I thought they were going to be like in the movies. Boy was I mistaken! Turns out, they're just as flawed as we girls are. And that's okay, we're all human. I've stopped expecting perfection, and I now realize that compatibility is more important. Do we have similar interests, do we click, is he kind and caring?
Yes, I did go through a phase in the beginning when I was drawn to mean guys. Thankfully I outgrew that. I have zero interest in them these days. Nor do I have any interest in self-absorbed and vain men. Now what is desirable to me is someone who treats me with respect, is kind, has a good sense of humor and is responsible. The rest will fall into place.

It wasn't always like this though. I made some pretty gruesome mistakes when I was younger. Not that I dated much. My experience is really quite limited. I have had enough experience though to be able to weed out the bad apples from the good ones. I think once we pass a certain age we acquire a radar that will give off a warning signal when we meet a real loser. Experience helps. Dating more than one guy does help. How else are we going to be able to see who's decent and who's a moron? How else are we going to be able to distinguish romantic love from friendship? Passion from like?

So, don't be afraid to shop around a bit before you decide on your keeper. It'll make you all the more mature and ready once that special someone does come along.
Also, for those girls out there who still thinks they have to wait for the guy to make the first move, remember that it might be just as difficult for him as it is for you to do it. Granted, it's more appealing with a guy who's not afraid to make his feelings clear. I've had my fill of elusive, insecure men. It's not attractive. But I don't think there's anything strange with the girl making the first move. Whatever comes naturally. Once we hit adulthood, that cute coy stuff and playing hard to get and hinting around something instead of just coming right out and saying is just isn't charming anymore. Who has the time and the energy for it! The same goes for men. If you like someone, just say so. Life is too short.