Good looks actually won't get you much. It's true. I know a lot of us strive for it, but it really doesn't matter all that much when it comes down to it. It's not going to automatically make you happy. It may get you some admiring glances from the opposite, or same, sex at a party, but unless you have the brains and personality to back it up you really have nothing. At the most all you will get are guys, or girls, who want to have a one-night stand with you. To attract someone more interesting and worthwhile, one needs to have some substance, something more than just a pretty face.
It's not true that being socially successful is connected to your level of attractiveness. What really matters is your personality. Well, it depends on what type of social circle it is we're talking about. In some settings, looks is everything, but in my opinion that type of social setting isn't worth much anyway. Interesting, pleasant social group tend to value a good personality rather than a pretty exterior. Even the most beautiful woman will be excluded if she's nasty or socially awkward. I can't imagine what group of people would tolerate bad behaviour from someone simply because she's beautiful. Perhaps soap operas and Hollywood film productions? Maybe the Ms. Universe pageant.
I'm not a dog. I've been told I'm reasonable attractive and I don't think I'm that bad. So, if I'm pretty, why aren't I more socially successful? The answer is: Because I'm socially awkward. It doesn't matter how beautiful I become, if I'm still socially awkward I will never quite fit in. See, good looks isn't some automatic guarantee of happiness and belonging. What truly earns you respect is how savvy you are in social settings. Even your achievements come second.
Take groups of high school girls for example. You can see which groups belong to the "in-crowd" and which don't. The girls from the more popular groups are no more attractive than the loners that you see, walking by themselves. It's not looks that really matters in high school, it's how well you play the game. Of course, if a girl or a guy as a huge nose or a big mold on their forehead, they might not be as popular as they would be had they looked more like the norm.
Then as you get older and more mature, personality starts to matter more and more, which is at it should be. However, life is always a game, and looks just don't make it very far in the long run. Looks fade. It's nice to look at someone beautiful, but really, how long will that last and how far can you go with only that? It's all fluff and veneer unless there is more beneath the surface. Any person who would be with someone just because they're attractive must have very low standards. There are so many other things to take into consideration, such as intelligence, kindness, sense of humour.
2 comments:
from my own experience, i do think that being perceived as more attractive does get you better treatment...more people seem to talk and pay attention to me (and this include totally platonic interactions) now than they did before...
but then again, that could just be because i've become a lot less socially awkward..(although i'm still awkward enough to avoid eye contact with the guy at cafe artigiano today haha i'll tell you tomorrow)
my point is that it's not exactly easy to tell whether the nicer treatment results from the change from a fatso to a hot babe (okay okay more like a hot-and-bothered baby), or from the change in personality..it's probably a bit of both
you know what i've noticed though? the type of people who value attractiveness most and require that of people they're with tend to be those who do not feel attractive themselves..
it must be because they think they're ugly or lacking in some physical way, but being with someone who is hot will raise their confidence or people's perception of their own attractiveness.
kinda like the "this hot chick/guy picked me so i must be good enough" syndrome
rather sad but very common
I think more people paying attention to you and giving you better treatment is more related to you feeling better about yourself, and thus you're more outgoing and more happy. Confidence is more appealing than self-loathing.
In certain cultures perhaps attractive people get preferential treatment but not in a modern society like Canada. Not in places where it counts anyway. The line-up to get into a night club doesn't count.
Post a Comment