Tired and listless

I'm tired of everything today. Tired of people. It's Nick's birthday today and we're doing a birthday BBQ tomorrow and have invited around 12 people. Things come up, of course, people get sick or have other commitments. I know this. However, I'm one of those control-freaks that doesn't roll well with the punches when people cancel on me. There's a reason for why I don't plan anything for my birthdays. I simply hate the hassle of finding a date that suits everyone, worrying about who to invite, when the event itself comes, worrying about whether or not the apartment is clean enough and whether or not people are enjoying themselves. I know that other people's enjoyment is something I have very little control over, but I can't seem to help myself from feeling insufficient anyway. The truth of the matter is that I don't really like people. I'm not a people-person now, never have been and never will be. I prefer animals to people. Animals are simpler. They're a lot easier to communicate with and they're a lot more honest. They don't gossip about you behind your back and what you see is what you get.
So, now I'm tired and listless, physically and mentally, but since today is Nick's birthday I of course want to make it nice for him. So I have just baked two cakes, one vanilla and one chocolate, which I will fill with white chocolate mousse and milk chocolate mousse and then ice it with dark chocolate mousse. So basically it's a triple chocolate mousse cake. Hopefully it's not a disaster.
I will also try and buck up, so that I don't tell off a particularly grumpy guest that's coming over tonight. When will I learn? I made the decision years ago to cut out negative people from my life and only focus on those that bring something positive into it. Yet it seems I still have some trimming to do. Snip snip...cut cut...