I'm feeling about jumbled up in my thoughts at the moment. My mind is all over the place and my eating habit are atrocious. Fortunately this week I have been doing well when it comes to teaching, somehow.
I woke up around 3:00am this morning, needing to use the washroom. As I got up I felt bloated and unhealthy. I started thinking about my health and how in the past few months I have gained around 7 lbs. I just cannot seem to get back into the habit of going to the gym 3 days a week and curbing my craving for chocolate. I crave it all the time. Every day. To top it off, right now I am going through an extreme lethargic period when it comes to cooking. Rather than spend some time preparing a healthy meal, we've been hitting the fast food restaurants.
This stops today.
Not only am I going to the gym today but I am making a serious attempt to quit eating chocolate and I am making a moose stew with loads of veggies and chickpeas for dinner, served with wild rice. I am going to eat a smaller amount, because I think, I know, that this is the key to losing weight. Going on a diet is useless and just plain masochistic. I remember all too well the days when I used to go on a diets. When I was 18 I got up to 165 lbs at one point. Sure it's not as though I was obese, but it's still too much for someone who's 5 foot 6 inches.
I lost 22 lbs in one month, but I did it the unhealthy way. I basically starved myself. I ate a lot of vegetables yes, but a plate of chopped up tomato and cucumber is hardly a meal. And there were days when I would only drink protein shakes. The day after I would binge like there was no tomorrow. The beginning of an eating disorder. Fortunately it didn't go that far.
Anyway what I am trying to strive for now is that equilibrium that I had back in my university days. I was happier and more fulfilled and I worked out regularly without fail. Because Nick worked evenings all the time I ate dinner on my own most days, and when you eat alone you're not picky. A bowl of soup and a sandwich would suffice for dinner. Now I can't only think of myself. Nick has to eat too, and he's not happy with a bowl of soup or a plate of veggies. I suppose I should serve it anyway, and let him make his own food, but if I do I know he will fry up some unhealthy crap that I don't want him to eat.
Anyway, screw the fast food places and bring on the home cooking. I have to make time for the gym somehow. I've been working out once or twice a week lately, which would be alright if it wasn't for all that chocolate and potato chips I tend to scarf down in the evening.
So I suppose I will make an honest effort to get my act together.
If I don't blog about it again, it'll be because I failed in my attempts.
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