Thursday, February 3, 2011

Things are a bit out of hand at the moment

I'm feeling about jumbled up in my thoughts at the moment. My mind is all over the place and my eating habit are atrocious. Fortunately this week I have been doing well when it comes to teaching, somehow.
I woke up around 3:00am this morning, needing to use the washroom. As I got up I felt bloated and unhealthy. I started thinking about my health and how in the past few months I have gained around 7 lbs. I just cannot seem to get back into the habit of going to the gym 3 days a week and curbing my craving for chocolate. I crave it all the time. Every day. To top it off, right now I am going through an extreme lethargic period when it comes to cooking. Rather than spend some time preparing a healthy meal, we've been hitting the fast food restaurants.
This stops today.
Not only am I going to the gym today but I am making a serious attempt to quit eating chocolate and I am making a moose stew with loads of veggies and chickpeas for dinner, served with wild rice. I am going to eat a smaller amount, because I think, I know, that this is the key to losing weight. Going on a diet is useless and just plain masochistic. I remember all too well the days when I used to go on a diets. When I was 18 I got up to 165 lbs at one point. Sure it's not as though I was obese, but it's still too much for someone who's 5 foot 6 inches.
I lost 22 lbs in one month, but I did it the unhealthy way. I basically starved myself. I ate a lot of vegetables yes, but a plate of chopped up tomato and cucumber is hardly a meal. And there were days when I would only drink protein shakes. The day after I would binge like there was no tomorrow. The beginning of an eating disorder. Fortunately it didn't go that far.
Anyway what I am trying to strive for now is that equilibrium that I had back in my university days. I was happier and more fulfilled and I worked out regularly without fail. Because Nick worked evenings all the time I ate dinner on my own most days, and when you eat alone you're not picky. A bowl of soup and a sandwich would suffice for dinner. Now I can't only think of myself. Nick has to eat too, and he's not happy with a bowl of soup or a plate of veggies. I suppose I should serve it anyway, and let him make his own food, but if I do I know he will fry up some unhealthy crap that I don't want him to eat.
Anyway, screw the fast food places and bring on the home cooking. I have to make time for the gym somehow. I've been working out once or twice a week lately, which would be alright if it wasn't for all that chocolate and potato chips I tend to scarf down in the evening.
So I suppose I will make an honest effort to get my act together.
If I don't blog about it again, it'll be because I failed in my attempts.

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