Saturday, March 5, 2011

Thank heavens for call display!

I remember the days when call display had yet to make its debut, and almost nobody had cell phones. When the phone rang you actually had to pick up the receiver in order to find out who was calling. It was like playing Russian roulette. Was it someone you wanted to talk to or was it a nuisance call? You had to pick up or you might miss out on a real call. You'd answer the phone completely oblivious and hope for the best.
For a while in my teens I had a 34-year old alcoholic stalker who used to drunk dial me on the weekends when I was alone. He'd go into these drunken monologues over the phone and I was too timid to hang up on him. Since our family wasn't into answering machines and there was no call display I had no way of knowing if it was him when the phone rang, so I came up with this dense plan of taking a short clip from a movie where a man answers "Hello, Levander!", Levander being a last name, and record it onto a cassette tape and then play "Hello, Levander!" into the receiver everytime the phone rang so it would sound like he had dialed the wrong number. It didn't work. The sound was awful since I had taped it straight from the T.V, and cassette tapes weren't exactly of stellar sound quality. And he never ended up calling that weekend anyway so I wasn't able to test out my brilliant idea and after that I forgot to use it. With the sound being so terrible it would never have worked anyway. He would have slurred "What?? Linda, is that you??" into the phone and I wouldn't have had the guts not to say anything and would have ended up listening to his drunken ramblings anyway. "Your eyes are really blue...the pig managed to escape and shit all over the house..."
I can't even imagine living without call display now. Blindly answering the phone with not the least knowledge of what moron is calling? It could be telemarketers, salespeople...stalkers. I just wouldn't be able to go back to the not knowing. I already dislike phonecalls as it is, imagine what it'd be like if I wasn't able to see who's calling. Being able to see who's calling is a blessing for those of us who would rather avoid the telemarketers and stalkers of this world than having to tell them to bug off. I'm just not good at that.

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