Thick as thieves in singledom

Is it natural for people to drop their friends as soon as they meet somebody and enter a committed relationship? I know it's natural for things to change somewhat you when meet someone. One can't expect things to stay completely the same. A new significant other takes up a lot of time. One must expect to see a little bit less of that person. That's acceptable.

Then there are those friends who disappear completely when they meet somebody. They're a variation of fair-weather friends. They will only come to you when they're single, lonely or bored, when they need you. They want to be friends, thick as thieves, when they have nothing else going on in their lives. When they meet someone they have no use for you. That's not to say they don't have use for other, new friendships, friendships that fit well in with the new relationship. Sometimes a particular friendship is formed out of a temporary need, and once that need is no longer there then the friendship is history too. Some people only turn to you in desperate or confused times, and when their lives are going well again they leave you behind.

In a way, this sucks, but in a way I can sort of understand. People can become reminders of a time in your life that you'd rather forget. I know, I've been there. Sometimes you look back at a particularly ugly chapter of your life and you just want to forget everything and everyone associated with it. The people who you once befriended knew a desperate, clingy, lost individual who is now a source of shame for you. Is there a fear that this person will re-emerge if those old friendships are rekindled? No, I think we just want to move on with our lives and leave all that old business in the past.

The thing is, people aren't business. We shouldn't discard friendships the way you discard old clothes or old boyfriends or girlfriends.
If we do that, we shouldn't expect the friends whose phone numbers we suddenly forgot when we met someone to still be there waiting once we're single again. You can't treat people like that. People aren't static. Their lives don't suddenly stop once you leave the scene. They won't be there in the same place that you left them, ready to be your friend again.

It used to bother me when friends did what I've just described above. These days I've become fairly laid-back about it. The way I see it, people come and go. Some remain, some don't. Such is life. C'est la vie.